This is it folks, I've started a blog! You may ask yourself, "what has this bitch got to share with the world that the bazillion other blogs don't already say" And to that I say , "Plenty!"
As a pediatrician and pediatric hospitalist I find I'm constantly talking well intentioned new mothers "off the ledge." Why are all these mommies so upset? Other peoples' parenting blogs.... I've read them. I'm appalled! They're not giving parenting advice, they're giving medical advice - and people are listening! Then I have to come along and pick up the pieces.
I'm gonna start with my own experience with breast feeding. Nursing is awesome! Breast milk is the most economic and natural thing to feed a human baby. But not all babies can do this and not all woman produce adequate milk. If they did then, there would never have evolved the "wet nurse." And by the way," she" seems to becoming back in the form of donor milk. I digress. I am so pro nursing I even sang a song about it in med school "breast is best" (sung to the tune of "be our guest").
But the tables turned when I had my first. While I have to admit I have lovely knockers - they're so nice they look fake- I have flat nipples and big boobs - its like trying to latch on to a dinner plate. I tried every trick and device imaginable- nothing worked. I resolved to pump and bottle feed. I had the backpack pump and tube top with the nipple holes, you know the one, and tried my hardest to make that work. To no avail :( I blistered the skin off my nips which left them open to infection - 6 episodes if mastitis. And still not making enough to feed my baby adequately. She persistently lost weight and screamed bloody murder . Then I developed a mass in my right breast. I was advised to stop breastfeeding immediately so I could be worked up for peripartum breast cancer. Turned out it was only fat necrosis from trying to force every last bit of milk out to feed my kid. What a nightmare! But it was compounded by statements like from my boss at the time a very old, well regarded, and male pediatrician "I've never met a mother who truly wanted to breastfeed who could not make it work" Seriously! In the postpartem hormonal storm I thought he was telling me I had given up on my baby. And if I gave up on her I must not love her enough. I just wasn't as good as other moms. As a doctor, I dealt with the complications of dehydration in the newborn for years. I should have known better. You can see, hormones and sleep deprivation left me susceptible to this negative thought spiral! Ya know what, thank God for formula! My daughter is now 5 and a half. She is happy, healthy, smart, athletic and an all-around good egg. And without the advent of formula both she and her younger sister would be severely malnourished, if not dead. So the next time you see a mom giving a kid a bottle, instead of thinking "too lazy to nurse", think awesome job feeding and nourishing your beautiful baby.
And now at work I hold a lot of hands of weeping moms who are in my boat. And I remind them that the amount of milk they produce is not proportional to the love of their baby. They may have big babies and they don't have adequate supply, giving a bit of formula initially won't "nipple confuse" - its a myth, it won't make breast feeding impossible in the future, and may keep them from getting hypoglyemic. BTW pacifiers aren't evil and they decrease the risk of SIDS. We expect that a baby should come out and nurse like a baby cow- immediately and vigorously. And human babies are just not cows. It's the minority that have any easy time. Some will struggle in the first couple of days and get there. Some will never get there. And it's all, ok!
Now there's a push by some of my NICU collegues for use of donor milk. I gotta say personally this grosses me out. In the preemie to prevent the development of necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) it may have its place. But you are sharing bodily fluids which can pass all sorts of viruses, including HIV, to your recipient babe. While I know they are careful and do testing, what scares me is the virus they dont yet know about, which may or may not be out there. Is it worth the risk in a term baby who could be drinking formula? Personally, I don't think so.
So bottom line, feed your baby- you're a great mother no matter if you give your singleton a bottle or you breast feed your Quads. Dr. Austin says so!
I'm just writing in support of your new blog.
I'm a big fan of nursing. It worked well for me, but i totally agree with everything you said. There should never be any guilt. I nursed for a year and a half while working full time and I would never fault anyone for not putting themselves through that. It took the support of my whole office to make it work and most people don't have that. If it works great, if not, No Guilt!
Reply
Melanie Austin
5/18/2013 02:05:35 pm
Thanks Rebecca. It's only the first rant, I mean post. I'm sure there will be upcoming topics you will find more relatable! Thanks for reading :)
Reply
Vicky Rauchle
5/19/2013 01:05:41 pm
Melanie! Love your post/ rant! I agree with Rebecca - I nursed too BUT I was lucky. I had lots of friends who didn't/ couldn't for various reasons and you know what - their kids have turnout just fine! As long as the kid is getting fed that is the important part =) keep up the great writing - can't wait to read more!
Reply
Kelley H
5/19/2013 02:18:14 pm
Hi Melanie. I don't have any kids but I spend my days (and far too many nights) catching them. Thanks for the rant/post, which i will happily regurgitate to my patients ad nauseum. Brava!!
Reply
Melanie Austin
5/20/2013 02:16:50 am
Keep spreading the word. Women can be so hard on each other and even worse on themselves. I hope this helps some well intentioned, yet misguided women to hold their tongues and empower other women during one of the scariest transitions in life - becoming a mother.
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Dr. Melanie Austin is an actual medical doctor not just a graduate of WebMD. She is the mother of 2 girls, 1 dog, 3 cats and at times, it seems, her husband. The blog is not meant as medical advice but as the musing of a medical professional on pertinent social topics.